~otto~

: STEAL ME FOR YOUR STORIES :

Flames on his arm and a star on his neck. In her sandal: six lady toes. Counted them six times to be sure. Bless you to an old man after he sneezed and he smiled and said thanks and that is a weird things humans do: bless you. Her toes were on her hands.

    * Approximately 10 jalapeno peppers, with seeds
    * 1/4 cup water
    * 369 gallons tequila
    * 1-1/3 cup white sugar
    * 3/4 cup white corn syrup

Cat on a leash in the park. Legalize graffiti (only the good tags). Boxes of diapers in both his hands. “Let sleeping fish die.” Right? Little girl almost fell down the steps but braced herself on a stranger’s leg. Eat the Rich T-shirt. Someone will get rich off of that.

Posted at 11:23pm and tagged with: one column, writing, lit,.

Always a good selection of crutches at the Salvation Army thrift store. Wood and aluminum. Christian music promotes personal responsibily and postive thinking. Wildfire prayer request.

Every day down here is the longest day of the year. Rhyme.

I order a mysterious lunch from someone who doesnt speak English by pointing at a handwritten menu not in English and trading nods and she serves it in a styrofoam box and the corn tortillas and rice are delicious and I apparently ordered a type of beef stew with potatoes. There is no air conditioning and a woman with gold teeth sets a fan near me and aims it at my face. I say gracias and she flashes the valuable smile. I drink a tall coke in a sweaty glass bottle and even the bottle does not speak English.

A television televises the news from a station across the border. Dogs. The anchor folds his arms and looks pissed. Something about dogs. Lots of dogs.

I drink constantly down here, second-most southernmost, and you have to because the heat is deadly and that is not a joke. Surface of the sun on earth. Death. Medio litro.

The across-the-river weather lady is dressed to party. Cockroach on the wall. My food is gone. Temperatures in Celsius.

Downtown streets, presidents and alphabet. A store rents tires. A sign for a boozeria with “coldest cans in town” written in a hand-drawn icy font, frost on top. I am melting.

Bone-bleaching heat, but art on bleached bones. An old woman’s painted face, charcoal eyebrows.

“How many grandaughters do you have?”

“Almost a baseball team.”

Driving. Neighborhoods. A fuchsia house with lime trim. Why not. Homeowners associations crush individuality and self-expression.

Loose bricks and rubble and broken stone. Murals. Tin can recycling but aluminum.

A dog with lots of ribs is roped to a truck with the doors open, tiny barks and tiny barks and I fold my arms angry in the heat so hot so heat so hot.

~O~

Posted at 10:59am and tagged with: writing, lit, one column,.

A woman pushed a stroller to the edge of the curb and when she saw a small opening in the rushing traffic, she ran for it. Her and her infant made it across alive and it excited me for all the possibilities that remained. 

A pigeon posed for me on a ledge and I bought a bottle of ranch dressing from a farmer’s stand by a busy subway entrance. I had just been fantasizing about ranch dressing and the universe brought it to me. On the train a woman’s newspaper sat in the seat next to her. “Is that yours?” She snatched it and I sat down next to her and she dug through her purse and wheezed, “Ohhhhhhgoddddd.”

M&Ms rolled around the floor and bounced off my shoes and a baby cried. A man played a panflute. I thought “What to Wear to an Orgy” would be a good title for my book.

A drunken man slurred his way through the crowded train pleading his case. “Someone stole my wallet and cellphone. I just want to get home to Connecticut.” He stumbled into someone and did not say sorry. “Can anyone spare a dollar or a five or ten? If someone gave me a ten I’d go straight home and you’d never have to see me again.” Nobody gave him anything. “The feeling is mutual!” A cigarette was pinned behind his ear. “The reason they call it spare change is because you can spare it. I know times are tough but …” He pushed his way past a couple holding hands. “Thanks for being so understanding. I hope you lose your wallet and cellphone.” He got off the train.

When I got home I Internet-searched “What to Wear to an Orgy” and it has already been taken, some article written during the key-partying ’70s. I dipped a dab of ranch dressing on my finger and it was delicious, the best I have ever had and nothing like what stores sell. I drank it like a drink, straight from the bottle, thick and creamy and herby.

Aaahhhhhh.”

The sun set behind a hill, trees full and green, clouds catching the deepening colors of a day leaving us for somewhere else. My window filled with weekend motorcycle engines and death sirens and car horns and drunken sidewalks but in the morning it quieted with churchgoers and hangovers and dog walkers and birds chirping Morse code before it gave way to everything starting over.

~O~

Posted at 7:27pm and tagged with: lit, writing,.